Hello Control? Hi, this is Out of Mine.

By: David Stern | Posted: July 31, 2018

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I won’t write another post about the weather. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t.

Funny thing. I wrote a post about how amazingly my eczema was clearing up, and not a week later, it pops right up again. Whoop, there it is. I don’t know what’s going on. When last we conversed, my projections for the future were sky high. My weight was down. My eczema was all but clear. My mood was awesome.

Let’s just go ahead and say it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, shall we? I’m still in the healing process, and not every day is awesomesauce. Saturday was one of those days. I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that one minute I was bragging about how fantastic life was, and why didn’t someone tell me about a whole foods plant based diet sooner, and the next, I was having allergic reactions, my nails digging into my skin, and my health quickly spiraled away from me. It’s hard for me to forget, “I’m not a healthy person just yet.”

But I’m not writing this because I’m bitter. I’m really not even upset. I’m writing about this because I’ve been through the weight loss/health crusade arena a couple times and one of the lessons I’ve managed to drill into my thick thick skull is that progress is not linear. Life is not a lab, and things…. happen. Your kid brings home a virus from school that totally throws your system out of whack. The scale starts moving in the wrong direction, and you lose all the self-esteem you were excited to have won.

As much as you can control what you put into your body, and how carefully you look after your health, not everything is in going to go to plan.

On Sundays, we do at least one family activity together. Sometimes it’s a walk at a park somewhere, sometimes it’s a playground, etc. We try to allow it to be active, because we lead busy lives, and Sundays are our one opportunity to do something like that together.

This past Sunday, we had planned to do bit of biking – nothing serious, just around the neighborhood with our new bike trailer (so excited about this btw). But wouldn’t you know it, a side effect of an eczema flare-up (for me, at least) is that it drains me of all will to live. I get lethargic. It messes with my mood too, so I’ll be very, shall we say, persnickety. My irritability in combination with the exhaustion don’t play well together either, so anything really active just isn’t in the cards.

Let’s make matters worse, shall we? Sundays are important to me because I rely on them (read: they’re not a luxury, they’re an actual need) for my mental health. Without a Sunday to decompress and move my body, spend time with my family, I do not function well at work. I spend 10 hours per day at work, and predictably, because I am the business owner, the work doesn’t really ever stop. I cordone off 1 hour per day of relaxation time in the evening right before bed, and that’s all I get. Breaks at work are short, and in the morning I’m scrambling through my routine to get my son to daycare and myself to work by 8.

<Return to the message, D. Stay on message.>

The point is, pay attention to the slope more than the individual data points. My trend has been towards the better, in mind and in body. I’m worse now, yes, but not worse than I was when I started. And even if I were, my healing process is better, my reaction to my reaction (does that make any sense) is better. In other words, it could be very easy for me to look at the scale, which isn’t moving the way I want, or to look at my skin, which isn’t as clear as I want, or to look at my general mood over the past few days or so, which isn’t as good as I want, and become very depressed, lose hope in the process.

It’s okay to let some of this be out of your control, I think. For me, I’m trusting the process. I’m renewing my efforts to stay on track, I’m going to keep hammering away at things I can change, and I’m not going to worry about those that I can’t.

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